Nerd Alert

2 Characters
A New York Escort's Confessions
Atomic Clock
Culture Strain
Darp Darp
Fash Mag Slag
Go Fug Yourself
Inhibitory Links
In Passing
Intergalactic Hussy
I See Monsters
John Howard: PM
Line of Contempt
Mr Alphabet
Ms Hairy Legs
Sheets & Blankets
Spending Like It's 1988
Spirit Fingers
Suburban Camouflage
Tastes Like Drunk
The Spin Starts Here
Treading Water 101
Victim of Narcissism


Black People Love Us
Elijah Wood is Very, Very Gay
Sexy Losers
Sin Fest
Television Without Pity
Tomato Nation Three Way Action
White Ninja Comics




Wednesday, April 14, 2004
Dear Dawei,

Are most Aussie guys cut or uncut?

Penis Fan.

Dear Penis Fan,

You know, in my experience, only like, three guys I've been with have been circumcised. Oh, four. Five. But that fifth one was Jewish (and American!), so I guess it doesn't really count, what with him being all son-of-Abraham-y and stuff.

Coming from an all boy highschool, some people had a lot of pent up sexual frustration going on. Even if you don't add the thick undercurrent of homoeroticism that often wafted around the campus (I won't even bring up Pervy McSportsTeacher who had a hardon for yours truly, the wank-offs behind the rowing shed, and the butt-fucking shenanigans that went on nightly in the boarding house), people liked to talk dick a lot. In fact, I think there was like, an unofficial poll going around about who was cut and who was uncut.

Unsurprisingly, as by this stage I was a master at the casual perv and could spot a naked penis at one hundred paces, it was revealed that most in my age group were uncut. I always thought it was a bit harsh, because those who said they were circumcised were ridiculed, and it's not like they had anything to do with it.

We only had one Jewish guy in my year, so he got a free pass. But then he didn't, because he was a bit of a dick and everyone hated him. On a side note, what's the deal with that hat thing? He never wore it to school, and I always wanted to ask. Actually, I think that looks like a circumcised penis, is that the connection? Anyway.

Of course, that is only for our age. I generally go by the rule "older people = circumcised" based on seeing my father and my uncles and my grandfather. Yes, I have had the misfortune of seeing all of them naked. That theory doesn't really stand up though, as I shagged a 38 year old guy once, and he had a really nice, uncircumcised dick.

Of course, I don't really care. I mean, I know a lot of people who are all for one or the other. Like it makes any difference. A penis is a penis, in my book, and when you get to the stage of peeling down the underwear, finding what form the penis du jour is in is all part of the fun. That expectation is generally more fun than the actual sex. So keep things interesting! Chop away! Hopefully as our population ages and dies, circumcision will not be just for the Jews.

(Of course, if I ever have a son, I won't be circumcising him. Gross.)

Thanks for writing!